Prayers for Megan

As much as I love, adore, and cherish Megan I am so frustrated right now. I want to yell and scream and cry. I want to hit something or throw something to hear it shatter into millions of pieces.

Over the last few weeks Megan and learnt to make herself throw up. I am so sick of smelling like barf. I am stressed with not knowing if she has the flu and is honestly barfing or if it is just to get rid of her pills.

I have also been dealing with her fighting food. She never wants to eat anything and has lost a lot of weight. She looks fine where she is at but I do not want her to lose more weight. She will even swallow food and then within 2 minutes it is back up.

Tonight I went and gave her the final dosage of her medicine at 11 PM, she gagged at first on the liquid and the water but was fine. I then gave her the pills which she gagged and then swallowed. I gave her some water to make sure they were down and she was fine. I walked out the door and heard that sound. Urgleunkblat. All of her medicine came up I am sure as well as part of her dinner that I did get her to eat.

I will be calling the Neurologist first thing in the morning to see if her blood levels are back yet from last week. Something is going to have to change here. I can not keep dealing with barf every night and every few days as well. I am tired of having laundry non stop with barf or pee.

Oh yea I did not have help Saturday, Sunday or Monday. I loved not having people here however.... It was also a weekend when Megan decided to pee non stop. She even took her diaper off at one point and peed all over the bed. Thank the good Lord she did not have a bowel movement!I had her bedding going all weekend. I have 3 comforters for her bed and 3 sets of sheets. I was not able to keep up with it. I am sorry but having to change bedding 3 times in a day due to pee spills or barfing is making me go bonkers.

Hopefully I will have help tomorrow. I still need to get Mali's anal glands done and I need to pick up Robert's medicine at the doctors office. I also want to stop off at a Walmart and buy me a couple of flowers to plant and maybe a couple of new house plants.

Before I forget to tell you the picture is of my husband Jason and his Grandma Della. She is a lovely lady and always so gracious. She lives in California and her street is lined with these amazing purple flowering trees. The trees all smell so beautiful and they are like a dream. I guess everyone that lives there hates them because of the mess they make when the flowers fall. However to me they were lovely.

Della also has a tangerine tree in her front yard. I love to go to her house and attack the tree. I literally will eat fresh tangerines until I am sick. In the back of the house is a lemon tree and a grape fruit tree. I have not liked the lemons when I have had them and the grape fruit tree holds no interest to me. Oh but give me that sweet citrus of a tangerine and I am in bliss.

I told hubby if we ever move to California he will have to put me in the middle of an orange grove. I still remember driving home one spring or summer and I smelt this beautiful aroma. I was in heaven. I asked Jason what it was and he said it was the orange orchard to the side. He had to slow down and roll the windows down for me to inhale the aroma. How anyone could take the scent fro granted is beyond me. It truly is a gift from God.